It’s the big MM recognition event
and all us state project officers are bound for Canberra to meet the Minister
for Education, Pete Garrett, Midnight Oils front man, now an honourable member.
After the pleasantries the boss’s
email says: I just wanted to let you know
that the event on Friday is a fairly formal occasion and as such coat and tie
would be good. I only mention this as I understand that you really do prefer
casual dress and I certainly understand that. I thought it was best to mention
this prior to Friday. Thanks and take care. Will speak soon.
I email back that I own neither
tie nor coat, but will consider ironing creases in my shorts and wearing a top
hat. I think her sense of humour can cope with that.
Nonetheless, clothing raises
questions about my contrariness. My good woman gives me a gentle grilling on
the subject. I offer five reasons why a tie is simply inappropriate for anyone:
the medical reason, the political, the philosophical, the sexism, and the
personal. She gets my drift, but offers to help me find a pair of long pants
that fit me.
My suspicion is that Minister
Garrett is probably more comfortable in shorts and thongs than a starched collar
and might well be more comfortable having a yarn with me about his appearance
on Kitchen cabinet than the empty prattle he’ll have to conduct with earnest school
leaders in suits.
Putting all that to one side: I’ve
been warned. Nicely. I’m on notice to improve my wardrobe. I think about it sometimes
but nothing comes to mind. Shoes don’t fit my triple-E width feet. Socks make
me hot and sweaty. Ditto long pants. My jumpers were all knitted by my mother
three decades ago.
I’ll travel in shorts and
tee-shirt, slip into long duds in the parliamentary dunny just before the event
proper, hope I can last the distance till it’s safe to let it all hang out
again.
Clothes, eh. What a waste of
time, energy and cupboard space.
Rock on.
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