31 October 2012

finance

My good woman and I sit opposite the woman responsible for getting the ANZ bank to loan us more than half a million dollars. She’s Chinese, second generation for sure, her English unaccented, her command of her keyboard and numbers frightening.

Annette’s title is Home and Investment Lending Manager. My good woman and I bank with different banks but we can’t finance our auction purchase with loans from different banks. So I’m coming across. I won’t move my other accounts with Which Bank, but I like the thought of kicking them in pants this once just because they are a bank.

A contributing factor in my apostasy is that Annette explains things better than Kylie at Which Bank. And for someone whose knowledge of money is akin to a black hole, this is important. At our first meeting on the Monday before the auction, I sort of get it: essentially, I get that the bank will lend us enough to bid, and that we can pay them back. For a few weeks anyway.

Today, having done the auction deed, the whole thing gets a bit messy, but after many quizzical looks from my good woman and me, me in particular, Annette dumbs it down enough for me to understand for five minutes.

My lifelong aversion to anything to do with money is the trouble. I understand neither concepts concerning money, nor the language. Words like offset, dividend and accrual send me tailspinning into that black hole. I can’t even master a term as simple as ‘pay out’ in reference to my previous home loan, telling Annette I hope to kill it as soon as possible.

In the end we establish that my good woman will be party to four loans and I will have three. We will have a line of credit loan that will lie doggo, unless and until such time as we want to use it.

Annette asks about our solicitor, the legal person who will arrange all the legal stuff. Neither of us has a solicitor, but my sister has recommended someone. I ring her when I get home and she sends me a quote and questionnaire. That’ll do me. I don’t want to see any other quotes. They’ll only confuse me.

Rock on. 

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