25 November 2012

rift

My mother and I don’t disagree about much. If we do, we simply avoid the moot point.

I know when I tell her I have a cat with a broken leg and have done my own diagnosis rather than consult a vet she’ll be snaky. And she is. Citing all the evidence to suggest that a vet visit is a waste of time, energy and money gets me nowhere. As expected. I should have told her the cat was a picture of health.

Later in the afternoon my message bank and voicemail fill with urgent pleas to ring her. She’s spoken with my sister and my niece, a veterinary nurse, and exhorts me to get the cat fixed. In what way ‘fixed’, I ask. She equates a visit to the vet with being fixed. I tell her the cat just needs to be contained and rest, as is the case.

The conversation gets a bit testy: she’s annoyed and so am I. I feel put upon, and after five weeks of being unrelentingly put upon by my employer and life in general, I’m mad as hell and not about to take any more.

My mother anthropomorphises animals. They’re little humans to her, substitute children. They get rushed to the vet if they so much as squeak. I’m sure my mother has the pet equivalent of Munchausen Syndrome by proxy. Only my mother’s Persian cat could look pale. Only my mother’s poodle could have gallstones.

I’m pretty sure my cat has a broken leg. There’s no evidence of swelling or a bite, no displacement of bones, no discomfort when I squeeze the sore limb. I’m also sure that he just needs to minimise walking, lie down a lot, and not jump fences. I’m fairly sure he has more sense than my mother when it comes to his own health.

Unfortunately I don’t have his good sense when it comes to my relationship with my mother. I should have stayed mum about the cat’s bloody leg.

Rock on. 

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