repairs

Every home repair job uses three times as many tools and takes three times as long as first anticipated. This is the First Law of the House, known to every man with a shed, every single woman with a useless hammer in the drawer under her cutlery drawer.

In anticipation of the arrival of my new desk next Friday I get out of bed and dismantle the Ivar bookshelves where the desk will reside. I clear the large dining table in an adjacent room and transport endless armfuls of books, a shelf at a time, and stack them in order on the big table.

Reassembling half the shelves on another wall requires tape measure, screwdriver, spirit level, drill and bits. Things go well and the job is executed efficiently and without a hitch. I repack it with my collection of books about language, sort some into more appropriate places. Phrasal verbs, where?

After breakfast I fix six red brackets to the wall. Two long wide shelves will come with the new desk and house umpteen magazine holders packed with the garnered research wisdom of thirty years.

Careful measuring is in order. The floor drops away by centimetres into the corner so I measure and mark the location of the centre bracket. I will determine the heights of the other five by spirit level rather than height above the floor.

I screw up the first bracket and realise that I have no suitable woodscrews for the other brackets. A trip to the shed, slide out every little plastic drawer in my knick-knack racks. No right-sized screws. A trip to Bunnings: what home repair job doesn’t involve a trip to Bunnings? While there I purchase the polymer floor mat that will live under the new desk.

Good tools are things of wonder. Despite their lack of modernity, I know my tools and love them. No power drill for this job; the hand drill is easy—no cord, no extension cord. My slightly bent Phillips head screwdriver still screws up tight. My small green plastic spirit level is as good as a shiny metal job a metre long.

Brackets mounted, I test them with a makeshift shelf. Not a millimetre out. Bravo!

I ring my good woman’s recommended electrician and organise an inspection and quote for Wednesday morning. I need extra power outlets to cope with the new desk’s requirements—computer, monitor, printer, modem, radio, fan, telephone and a recharging station for two mobile phones and two laptops.

The satisfaction of home repairs well done is close to good sex and the glow lasts longer.

Rock on.