26 June 2012

daughter

I drive to Bendigo in the late afternoon. Tomorrow I train another group of mentors. I organise to kill many birds with one visit. The first is to have dinner with my daughter. I ring on Sunday to make sure that it is just us two, no partner, no grand-daughter. I have not spoken with my daughter one to one since I left Bendigo 14 months ago.

I park outside the Malayan Orchid at the top of View Street opposite the QEO about six thirty. I wonder up and down the footpath waiting. After ten minutes my toes are so cold I open the Jazz’s hatch, whip off my shorts, slide on the trackie daks and a thick pair of socks.

She arrives and we’re ushered to a table for two next to a wall furnace. The Orchid is up-market, for me anyway. It boasts three consecutive years of an award-winning wine list on the front window. The menu is varied and includes dishes with crocodile, emu and camel, well-known Malayan fauna.

My daughter looks exceptionally lovely, but a father would say that, wouldn’t he? I ask her what character she sees emerging in her nearly two-year-old daughter. I tell her I admire her as a mother, that although she cannot remember how her parents reared her at such an early age, she must have absorbed the business by osmosis.

My good woman calls my daughter my masterpiece, but she’s wrong. She’s a masterpiece of fortunate genes and her own making. But not perfect. She says she is seeing a counsellor. That she lost it with her partner, screamed at him, said terrible things, stormed off into the bush, screamed some more and threw rocks. I’m sure she had good cause.

Nothing I hear surprises me; it confirms the inklings I have had, the reason I wanted to talk alone. I pass on whatever wisdom I have about relationships, not much, or maybe not wise, given my limited success at them.
  
I tell her about this blog, what it started as, what it has become, my misgivings about who reads it, whether she or her brother should read it.

“I just want you to know it exists and that I’d like you to read it should I get bumped off my bike into an early grave.” She says she’ll read it.

The food is marvellous, the service unassuming but attentive. The iced water keeps coming, the subliminal music no effort to talk over.

We hug for a long time before she goes home.   

Rock on. 

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