27 June 2012

grand-daughter

She drills a finger into my left pectoral muscle. Checking for holes? Then my right collarbone. She moves her face up close to mine and scrutinises me from about an inch away. She scrunches her face, tilts her head at ninety degrees, then turns and bounces to the other end of the couch, throws herself on her mother, my daughter.

She is Nerri, 22 months old. One day she’ll be measured in years, but for now it’s months.

I’ve given up chasing my daughter in order to know my grand-child in a way my grand-parents never knew me. So I live in the hope that we will bond, my grand-daughter and me, though I see her irregularly. Her other grandfather lives in Bendigo, sees her often. Last time we meet a month ago it takes time for her to feel comfortable with me.

Today she is comfortable with me almost from the time I arrive. She knows my name, points at me when my name is spoken, though sometimes she points at the dog. In the kitchen she raises her arms for me to pick her up. She’s heavy. My arm soon aches. How does my small daughter lug this child around half the day?

She looks at me quizzically—who are you? Where or how do you fit into my world?—then bursts into a smile, as if she’s guessed I might have something to do with the mother she adores. She inspects the stubble on my chin, pokes a finger into my moustache. She traces a furrow on my forehead. Not once does she try to remove my glasses as my kids frequently did at Nerri’s age.

I am falling asleep. My daughter takes Nerri out to hang the washing and I doze off. I am asleep maybe for two or three minutes when the phone rings. I wake with a start, no idea where I am. I sit and wonder how it is that I have so little memory of my own children at Nerri’s age. I sort of remember the joy and wonder of them, but no particular moment.

I wonder about people who are able to remember such things. Do they have some capacity I do not? Or is it I who have the capacity they don’t possess; the capacity to move on to whatever comes next, to absorb what was, and to simply let it go?

This will perplex me a while yet.

Rock on. 

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