As a father I find myself
wishing I could see more of my daughter and my grand-daughter. I see a little more
of my son and feel a closer than I have for maybe ten years. In both I see fine
people I am proud to have brought up.
As a son I inch closer to
caring for parents, although my sister is placing herself, geographically
and in semi-retirement, to bear most of
that burden. Neither of us sees much joy in the task ahead, but perhaps we will
find unexpected joys there.
As a brother nothing much
changes; I get on fine with my sister but we don’t share a great deal or do
anything together beyond the usual family occasions.
As a worker my situation is
completely off my January radar. I have a job that pays more and expects more
of me than I could have anticipated. I am glad to have it but it is forcing
other changes in my life, changes I’m not so sure about.
As a resident I’ve become the
chair of a small owners corporation, not something I set out to be. Being a long
way from my principal workplace I find myself contemplating moving much closer
to that workplace, living in an apartment or flat, something entirely new to
me.
I also find myself earning a
decent wage for the first time in over a decade and wondering how best to
deploy or invest that income. This is foreign territory for someone who lived
from one fortnight’s pay to the next.
As a lover I suddenly find
myself not a lover at all when a month ago I still wondered when and how I
would live with my good woman some time in the future.
As a man looking for meaning
after 60 I find all too much that I can’t make sense of, but why should I? I
have, after all, argued forever and a day that life is meaningless. That’s life
generally, of course. An individual life can’t be without meaning. The quest
continues.
Rock on.
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