21 September 2012

windmills

My good woman forwards me an email from one of her work colleagues. It’s a graphic of a Chinese proverb: When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills. She adds no comment, doesn’t need to. For six weeks I, or we, have been building walls. Is it possible we could build windmills from the current wreckage of our relationship?

I’m not much into proverbs; for each there is an equal and opposite, like Out of sight, out of mind and Absence makes the heart grow fonder. No doubt when the Chinese coined their walls and windmills proverb they knew nothing of Don Quixote tilting at windmills. Chinese opportunity is Spanish futility.

I wonder about the difference between a proverb, a saying, an adage, an aphorism, and a truism. The proverb is well-known, expresses an obvious truth or piece of advice. A saying seems to be interchangeable with a proverb. An aphorism is succinct, but most sayings are too. The truism apparently is so often said as to be meaningless.

Sometimes my good woman says, “In Serbia we have a say.” I don’t correct her as she wants me to, tell her we call it a saying not a say. I’m compromised: she wants to speak English like a native; I prefer her endearing misconstructions.

First I teach her the difference between literal and literate after she tells me she wants to be literal. I teach her split second to replace her split of a second. We both know what she intends. She still says without of when without will do.

But this is diversion from the real issue: can I find opportunity rather than futility in our situation? I know that both in work and love I have an eye for small shortcomings, allow them to grow and fester, to burst like boils, then apply the balm of walking away.

My good woman and I cannot get our act together these last six weeks. The first time she walked, the second time, last Sunday, I did. Our intuitive understanding of each other, despite our different cultures and native tongues, has disappeared. How to find it again: how to begin, where to look?

Rock on. 

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