astonishment

I ring my mother to remind her to read an article in the still-a-broadsheet about the dangerous former seminarian who looks likely to be our next prime minister. She thinks his party will have the good sense to piff him out before the election. We agree to disagree. Eventually.

She asks what I’ve been doing, have I been away this week? No trips, I tell her, but I’ve been to a counselling session with my good woman.

She surprises me, sees no value in counselling. I explain that it can help us reflect on our personal shortcomings (and strengths), how they contribute to our relationship shortcomings. For my part I’m trying to figure out what about me I can change and what I can’t, and why I can’t get beyond a certain point in a relationship even when I’d like it to be long-term.  

My mother still isn’t buying, thinks no good can come of it, just more insecurity. Then she astounds me by saying that I should stick to shorter-term relationships; I seem to be better at them. Given that she’s been married for 64 years, I ask her on what life experience she bases this belief. I also counter with her strongly expressed desire that I don’t end up a lonely old man.

She knows I’m more than capable of and don’t mind living alone, that I can cook, do housework, fix things, budget and pay the bills. My father can do one and a half of those things, my mother two. She also knows that like her I can fill my days with all manner of relatively meaningful activity.

But she’s not so sure I should be considering another place. But that’s another story.

Rock on.