06 February 2012

application

I email my first job application. It’s not a job I want and I doubt I’ll be considered. But Centrelink demand ‘activity’, so activity they will get.

CrimCheck check police records for new employees in community organisations. They need an administrator; it’s a job share position for 19 hours per week with flexible working times. I’m no administrator, but I know the community sector and I like flexible hours.

I address the selection criteria in haste as other things limit my application writing time. The first four criteria are routine things about communication skills, computer skills, commitment to quality improvement and ability to organise oneself.

By the fifth criterion I’m low on space, energy and time—I need to hit Send in about seven minutes to make close of business. My “understanding of the not-for-profit sector” includes this: “What can I say? I’m a not-for-profit human being. My business is not-for-profit. People laugh and tell me to charge more.”

Under “proven administration skills and a demonstrated capacity to perform general office-tasks” I offer that “I run my own home office which is neat, tidy and efficient, although I could do better. I’m a neat-freak. I like routines. A friend refers to my home as the OCD house. Attention to detail? Yes, please.”

If they have no sense of humour, I don’t want to work for them. If they do, they’ll laugh as they bin my application.

Rock on.   

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